Author’s Note:
The holidays can be a difficult time for many people. Loss, failure, or even memories of childhood disappointments can throw a shadow of sadness over the whole season.
For me, my best childhood memories come from the Christmas season. The joy for the lights, decorations, and music brightened my otherwise turbulent childhood.
My hope is that this story will brighten the lives of some and help others deal with the grief that comes with the season.
This story is set in the Wil Clarey universe (see my Wil Clarey page) in the December before Wil arrives in Kerryville. The main character here is Hannah Vaughn, the neighbor girl who later becomes Wil’s best friend.
As with all my Christmas stories, this has had very minimal editing so please excuse any plot holes and errors. Feel free to contact me with any suggestions for improvements.
Enjoy.
Christmas Cheer Up
2023 Christmas Story
A Wil Clarey Prequel featuring Hannah Vaughn
by Richard Solano
“Hanny! Hanny! You gotta come right now!”
“What’s going on, Peaches?”
Peaches was a 5-year-old who lived on the next farm over the hill from ours.
“It’s a ‘saster! We need you right now!”
“Should I call my dad?”
“No! We need you right now!”
My dad and my sister Sarah were at work. Why they chose to work on the day after Thanksgiving, I’ll never know.
I’m supposed to stay at home when they’re gone but this sounded urgent. I grabbed my coat and hat and ran.
The cold hit me as soon as I was out the door. This might be Virginia, but we lived in the mountains in the west.
The sky was steel grey, and a few snowflakes drifted down as I headed up the back trail over the hill. It was faster going this way than along the road.
Bob and Betty Clarey had moved in when I was 8. I’m twelve now and they’re some of my best friends. Kinda like grandparents. I called them Uncle Bob and Aunt Betty.
My grandparents moved to Myrtle Beach a long time ago.
I ran, hopped the gate at the top of the hill and started running down, all the time wondering if someone was hurt, or if there was a fire. I fought back panic when I saw strange lights through the trees. It looked like they were falling from the roof of the house.
When I got closer, I saw the lights went up a ladder.
Did someone fall? The panic turned to confusion when I saw someone hanging lights on the eaves of the house.
“Hey Hannah!” It was Hank, Peaches dad, the Clarey’s handyman, calling from the top of the ladder.
Uncle Bob was sorting lights in the driveway. “Hey Hannah!” He freed one hand from the tangle to wave. “Betty and Dora (Peaches Mom) are in the kitchen.”
I burst through their back door. “Hi Aunt Betty. What’s the problem?”
She got a confused look. “Problem?”
“Dios mios, mija!” Dora’s Puerto Rican accent lit up the room.
She gave Peaches a stern look. “Did you go all the way to the Vaughn’s? And what did you tell Miss Hannah to scare her like that?”
“You said we’d never get the decoratin’ done in time, so I got Hanny to help.”
“Mija! You need to apologize to Miss Hannah!”
She hesitated, looked at the ground and said, “I’m sorry Hanny.”
I’d been suppressing a smile this whole time. At the apology, I couldn’t hold back a little laugh.
For a moment Peaches looked crushed so I grabbed her in a bear hug. “I’m glad you got me over here. Decorating sounds like fun!”
We spent the next three and a half hours stringing and hanging popcorn. Betty and Dora put out garlands all over while Peaches and I set up Tia Betty’s nativity scenes (She has several from all over the world).
I will say, it was kinda scary having Peaches hand me ceramic figurines. We managed not to break anything, only because that set was in the carpeted family room.
A couple hours later, Peaches and Dora went back to their mobile home across the driveway to make their dinner.
I sat down after putting the last touches on a carved wooden nativity in the family room.
I tried to soak in the joy of the season.
Bob and Betty’s house was so full of joy.
I missed that.
My mom passed away from cancer 6 years ago – just after Christmas.
I was little. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t affect me as much as my sister. Or maybe that’s just the way I am. Dad says I can light up a room just with my smile.
This time of year, even that doesn’t help. He seems to go into mourning every Christmas season.
The living room was quiet, but it shined with Christmas joy.
Their tall Christmas tree stood there with lights on, waiting for them to decorate it together this evening after Bob was done with the outside lights.
The big window next to the tree showed me the white ground in the fading light.
My dad would be home soon but I thought about asking to stay to help them decorate the tree.
“Bob needs to run to the store, so he’ll drive you home.” Aunt Betty walked into the room, wiping her hands on a towel.
She must have seen something in my face because she sat next to me and put her arm around my back. “I know this is a hard time of year for you.”
She left it at that.
I didn’t cry, if that’s what you’re thinking.
But I didn’t disagree with her. “I wish I could package up the cheer from here and take it home.”
“Tell you what. You pay us a call tomorrow and I’ll send home some cookies.”
“Can I help make ’em?”
“Of course, if you can get here early enough.”
“I’ll try”
“In the meantime, you can carry the Christmas spirit in that smile of yours.”
“Ok.”
At this point Uncle Bob came in. “Truck’s warming up. Ya’ want a lift?”
When Uncle Bob dropped me off at our farm, Dad’s big veterinary pickup was in the driveway.
I texted him earlier to let him know where I was so I wasn’t worried about him being mad.
I rushed into the living room. “Dad. Can we put up the tree an’ stuff tonight?”
He’d just sat down in his favorite chair and picked up one of his horse magazines. “Not tonight Han’. It’s too late to pick out a good tree. Besides, they’re all covered with snow.”
“If we go now there’s still ‘nough light. Then the snow could melt off in the barn while we eat.”
He gave me one of “those” looks.
I begged, “It’s after Thanksgiving already. We gotta decorate soon.”
“Thanksgiving was just yesterday. You’ll survive until the snow melts.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“I am.” He patted his lap. “Come here.”
I flopped across his legs.
“Oof! You’ve grown.”
“I’m practically a teenager now. What’d ya’ expect?”
“Now you’re making me feel old.”
“Well, if the shoe fits…”
“Watch it kiddo.” He started tickling me.
I squirmed. “Fine! You’re just 29.”
The tickling stopped.
“Just like Uncle Bob!” I hopped up out of his reach.
He started to reach tickling hands toward me, but I slid away.
Then he stopped and gave a funny look. “Now that you mention it, Bob never did grow up.”
“Dinner time!” Sarah called from the kitchen.
Halfway through the casserole that Sarah made from Thanksgiving leftovers, I blurted out, “Dad, are you ever gonna get remarried?”
Sarah’s eyes got wide. “Hannah! That’s none of your business!”
“If I get a new mom, I think it’s my business!”
“It’s okay.” Dad spoke gently. “You’re right, Hannah. You have every right to know if I’m dating. Don’t worry, I’m not.”
“Worry? I want you to be happy.”
He reached over and gently touched my arm. “Han’, I’ll date when I think the time is right. It’s just not right yet.”
“Mom’s been gone almost 6 years now.”
“Give it a rest, Hannah.” Sarah got up and set her plate in the sink. “Your turn to do dishes.” She ran up the stairs.
I’d barely touched my food. I had no appetite. “Sorry, Dad.”
“Don’t worry about it. The time will come, probably.” He shrugged as he stood. “C’mon, I’ll help you with the dishes.”
Afterwards, Dad wanted to watch some football or something, so I went upstairs to my room.
The heat from the woodstove in the living room didn’t reach up there too well. Dad gave me a little heater but doesn’t let me leave it on when I’m not in the room.
I put on my warm jammies and sat at my little desk with the heater at my feet.
I had to make a plan. I could call it operation Christmas Cheer Up!
I went to sleep that night dreaming up plans.
Christmas Cheer Up step 1 – Christmas cookies.
When I woke, the smell of coffee beckoned me to the kitchen.
That smell always made me feel good. It brought to mind memories of hanging out with Dad as he sipped his coffee.
I still think it tastes gross, though.
“Hey kiddo, you want some?” Dad held his mug up toward the coffee pot that Sarah was tipping to her mug.
“It’ll stunt your growth.” Sarah put the nearly empty pot back in the coffee maker.
“As a doctor, I can tell you that’s not true.”
“I thought all you could say was it won’t stunt the growth of her rabbits if they drink it.” Sarah joked between sips.
“Actually, it might harm them but,”
“I’ll stick to OJ.” I filled a tall glass with that orange heaven. “Can I make cookies today?”
“I have to head over to the Orville farm. Ask your sister.”
Before I had a chance to speak, Sarah replied, “I have to work at the gift shop till 5.” She glanced at her watch. And I gotta be there in 15! See ya!”
“Be careful, it’s likely to be icy on the mountain,” Dad put in.
Sarah worked in the gift shop at a Bluegrass Music Center up on Apple Top, a mountain 8 miles past Kerryville. Dad followed her out the door.
Just like that, I had the house to myself.
I looked out the window. The snowy ground had turned to mud, and it was raining now.
That settled it. I didn’t want to walk to the Clarey’s in that mess.
I wanted to try Mom’s cookie recipes anyway. I didn’t need Aunt Betty. I could bake by myself.
I pulled out the step stool. I’m what Dad calls petite. Let’s face it – I’m short.
Maybe I’ll grow more. Maybe not.
Didn’t matter. That’s why God made step stools.
I grabbed the old wooden recipe box down from the cabinet above the fridge.
My fingers came away covered with dust so I cleaned it off. When I finally cracked it open, I almost teared up.
It was stuffed with recipe cards. Some handwritten by my mom and her mom. Some were cut from magazines and taped onto cards.
They were sorted by category. “Christmas Cookies” had its own tab. Names like Spritz, Chocolate Crinkles, Mile High Squares, Brown Butter Snickerdoodles, Peanut Butter Kisses, Pecan Snowballs, and English Toffee Squares all sounded so good!
I decided I would make three types. I took the recipes to our pantry. For a 17-year-old, Sarah did a pretty good job of keeping our pantry stocked.
We had everything but espresso powder for the Chocolate Crinkles. I figured it wouldn’t make much difference. We had everything for the Pecan Snowballs and Spritz cookies.
The Chocolate Crinkles looked the hardest, so I started with them. I don’t like chocolate so I couldn’t really taste test them, but Dad loves chocolate, so it was worth it.
This is easy. I was thinking as I mixed the ingredients. Then I got to the part where the recipe said to blend on high for two minutes. That meant using the blender.
You got this. I told myself.
I got the blender down from the top shelf, managing to only knock down a stack of plastic party cups. Well, there was the electric knife too. I don’t think Dad would notice the crack in its case.
Anyway, I got the blender ready and stuck it in the bowl and put it straight to blend.
I didn’t know it could fling stuff that far. I wiped off the recipe card and read it again.
Oh. Low speed first, then blend.
I eventually got the batter done, rolled into balls and covered with powered sugar. Then I realized I hadn’t preheated the oven.
Oh well, I’ll give them a couple extra minutes. It’ll be fine I told myself.
With the kitchen timer set to 22 minutes, I stuck them in and headed to the attic to find the cookie press I vaguely remembered Mom having.
The attic is my most and least favorite place in this old farmhouse.
I love all the cool old things.
I hate the spiders.
We keep a broom by the attic door to knock down spider webs. I swept the air around the whole attic before looking for the right box. It had to be over by the Christmas stuff. I looked through several boxes by the time I found it.
As I reached to dig it out of the box, my phone rang.
It was my friend Mazie.
I debated answering and finally picked it up on the fourth ring. “Hey Maizie.”
“Hey Hannah! You’ll never believe who just asked me to the winter dance!”
Oh boy. Here’s goes I thought. I mean, I like boys like any other middle school girl. But Mazie was boy CRAZY.
I put the phone on speaker and half listened as I dug through the box.
I had the press and its dough bag out and lifted the little box with attachments when I let out a scream.
“You okay?” Maizie asked.
“Spider.” Was all I could get out.
“Is that all.” Of course, Mazie wouldn’t be afraid of them. “Hey, what’s that beeping?”
“Oh no!” I flew down the two flights of stairs and straight to the oven and yanked it open. The cookies still looked very gooey. I give the timer another 5 minutes.
“You okay Hannah?” Mazie’s voice came from the phone I’d left in the attic.
“I’m fine. That was the cookie timer.” I grabbed the broom and swept the box as I bravely removed the attachment bag.
“Anyway, then Bobby…”
I put my mind back in that mode where I can say, “uh huh,” “really”, and “well bless his little bitty heart,” at all the right times. I couldn’t repeat the conversation to save my life, but I don’t think Mazie could tell.
I was back downstairs in time to remove the now overcooked Chocolate Crinkles. “You should come out here and help me make cookies.” I was sure she wouldn’t be able to get a ride way out here. She lived in town and we lived 8 miles outside of the Kerryville town limits.
“I wish. Hey, are you and Todd coming to the dance?”
I shivered at the thought. “You know there’s no me and Todd. He’s not my type.”
“I thought ‘hunk’ was every girl’s type.”
I didn’t like that the conversation was turning my way. Especially when it came to Todd. I mean we grew up together but now that he’s 14, he thinks he’s God’s gift to girls. “Hey, Mazie. I hate to cut this short but I really gotta concentrate on this next batch of cookies.”
“Okay but call me tonight.”
“I think we’re decorating the tree tonight.” I hoped but I knew I didn’t want to rehash her love life tonight. “Gimme a holler tomorrow.”
“Decorating tonight, huh. We’ve had ours up for weeks.”
“We always cut down a real tree. They don’t last that long.”
“I guess some people still do that. This year Daddy picked up a new one. You should see it…”
“I gotta go, peace out.”
“Okay, see ya soon.”
“Bye.”
The other cookies went better.
Well, at first the Spritz dough was too thick and wouldn’t go through the press. Then it was too thin, and I got some really funny looking cookies. Eventually I got it right and made a couple dozen beautiful cookies.
The Pecan Snowballs were easy by comparison. Aside from the first batch that was a little dark, the rest came out perfect.
I couldn’t wait for dad to try them.
“Why’s there, um, cookie dough on the window.” Dad had just finished his dinner.
“Oops” I was busted. “I thought I cleaned all the dough up. I had a little blender accident. I have a surprise for you!”
I took a rag and wiped the cookie dough off the window.
“I take it this involves cookies.” His smile practically said yum.
I grabbed a plate I had ready with all three kinds of cookies. “I have Chocolate Crinkles, Spritz, and Pecan Snowballs.” I put the plate in front of him.
“I’m impressed.”
“You should be. Now try them.”
He hesitated so Sarah reached over and grabbed a Chocolate Crinkle. “Not bad. A little crunchy.”
Dad grabbed one that looked less overdone. “Not bad at all.”
Then he picked up a Spritz cookie. “Your mom always had the hardest time getting the dough to the right thickness. Looks like you got it just right.” He took a bite and nodded. “Yup. Jus’ right.”
Sarah nodded in agreement, though she stayed silent and had an odd look on her face.
“I saved the best for last. I always loved these little pecan balls. My mom taught your mom how to make these.” He popped a small one in his mouth.
His eyes widened before he closed them and breathed a sigh. “Excuse me a moment.” He got up and went out the kitchen door to the yard.
“Was it that bad?” I asked Sarah.
“They’re perfect.” She said quietly. Too perfect. Just like mom and grandma made them.
I went outside. Dad stood facing the woods. I walked up beside him. “Did I make you sad.”
He put his arm around my shoulder. “No sweetheart. You just brought back some joyful memories.”
He looked down at me with wet eyes. “I’m just an old softy. You’re so much like your Mom.”
“Does that mean we can put up a tree tonight?”
“Hah! You don’t give up, do you.”
“Duh.”
He messed my hair like I was still a little kid. “Sorry Han, the pine grove’s a muddy mess right now. We gotta let the ground dry out. Maybe next weekend.”
“Can we at least bring the decorations down from the attic?”
“Sure. I’ll bring ‘em down and you and Sarah can go through ‘em. Test the lights and all.”
Dad brought the boxes down to the formal dining room. We usually ate in the kitchen so we didn’t use that room much.
Sarah and I went through the boxes but when I suggested we start putting stuff out, she said no and went back to her room.
Christmas Cheer Up Step 2 – Christmas Tree
The next week flew by. Saturday dawned sunny and cold. I found Dad at the kitchen table with his breakfast of toast, fruit, and coffee.
“Can we get a tree today?”
“Sorry, Han. I have appointments this morning. If it’s not too muddy this afternoon, we’ll give it a try.”
“Promise?” I put out my pinky.
He shook my pinky with his. “Pinky promise.”
“But if it’s too muddy to take the truck back to the grove, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “Is Sarah working today.”
“I don’t think so. She’s probably sleeping in.” He downed the rest of his coffee and got up. “See you this afternoon.”
Once Dad left, I threw on some jeans and bundled up. This time it really was freezing. I wanted to pick out a tree.
Our pine grove was planted by Grandpa I don’t know how many years ago. A lot of the trees were way too big to use as Christmas trees. But new trees were constantly coming up. The grove was kept thin by letting all the neighbors get their trees from there. That gave the smaller trees room to grow.
The grove went up the side of a hill that was mostly still in shade. The ground was frozen, though, where the sun hit it, it was starting to thaw into a thick mud.
I was almost to the top when I saw it. The perfect tree. It was a little tall, but it was so perfectly shaped and healthy.
What if it’s too muddy this afternoon and one of the neighbors gets it during the week. That was it. I’d made up my mind. I had to figure out how to get this tree to the house.
I went to the barn and got my old wagon out. I put the smaller chainsaw in the wagon and hauled it to the bottom of the hill. The ground was too bumpy in the grove, so I left the wagon at the bottom of the hill and hauled the chainsaw up to the tree.
I’m pretty strong for a petite 12-year-old girl but that chainsaw was tough. No, I’d never used a chainsaw before, in case you’re wondering. But it didn’t look that hard.
I remember Dad always pulled out this thing he called a choke and pushed this clear bubble several times. I did that.
I pulled the cord.
It barely moved.
I pulled harder.
The cord jerked a couple times, but it didn’t come close to starting. This was when I noticed a little stop sign on a switch next to the handle. I flipped the switch.
Still nothing.
I held the saw by the handle, pushing the little trigger. It still didn’t start but it was easier to pull. I pulled and pulled and pulled.
On about the twentieth pull. It fired up and ran – for about a second. I kept trying. Sometimes it fired up for a second, somethings it didn’t.
Finally, I got it to start and idle. It kinda bogged down when I gave it gas, though. Worse, the chain wouldn’t move.
I hit the kill switch, almost ready to give up.
“Dad uses this.” I nearly jumped out of my skin when Sarah spoke. She was holding a foot long device with a blade at one end and a handle and a battery at the other.
“It’s called a Sawzall. Dad showed me how to use it a couple years ago.”
“Go for it.” I motioned her to the tree.
“This things kinda big.” Sarah walked around the tree.
“We can cut off what we can’t use.”
“Okay. You grab a branch on that side and make sure it doesn’t fall on me as I cut.”
I went where she pointed and grabbed two branches while she figured out where to cut.
“Okay, here goes!”
The Sawzall was way quieter than the chain saw. She was through the trunk in about 10 seconds.
Good for her.
Not so good for me.
When it broke loose, it came down right on top of me. Luckily, it rolled right off me and started down the hill. I would have been thrilled if it had rolled all the way down the hill. Instead, it ran into another tree twenty-five feet down the hill.
Somehow, Sarah and I got it untangled from the other tree and down the hill. Sara brought her old Jeep Cherokee and we managed to throw the tree up on the roof rack. I climbed up and sat on the tree while she drove slowly back to the house.
I almost fell off half a dozen times. It was fun!
By the time we had it set up in the living room, we had to cut three feet off the bottom and trim the trunk a little narrower so it could fit in the stand.
“Well, I’ll be!” Dad walked in as we were finishing putting the lights on. “Good job ladies! Sorry I missed it.”
You’re here for the important part.
“We need one thing first.” Dad opened a cabinet and pulled out a couple of old vinyl records. He loaded them on an antique record player and started it playing some really old Christmas songs. “There. Now we can decorate it.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “When that’s done, I get to put on my playlist on a Bluetooth speaker, right.”
“Sure.” Dad said with a smile.
Wait, that was a real smile, not one of those little fake smiles he uses to try to cheer us up.
The Christmas Cheer Up Plan was working!
Christmas Cheer Up step 3 – Movies
That night we watched “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It was old-fashioned and a little weird at times, but I admit that I kinda liked it. Only kinda though.
When it was done, I asked Dad, “Can we watch Christmas movies every night this month.”
“We’re busy some nights. You have 4H this Tuesday and KCC Nights (our youth group at Kerryville Community Church) on Wednesdays. But, as long as I don’t have to work late, sure, we can watch Christmas movies. What are your favorites?”
“Well, the Santa Clause movies, and Elf, Nightmare Before Christmas…”
“That’s a Halloween movie.”
“It’s both.”
“I don’t know about that. But maybe if you let us watch Die Hard…”
“Dad! That’s R rated.”
“Oh yeah. How old are you?”
“Twelve going on twenty.” I threw a pillow at him. They don’t call them throw pillows for nothing.
“That’s what I thought. Hey, what about Home Alone.” He threw the pillow back.
I caught it. “Definitely. And Polar Express on Christmas Eve.”
Dad got suddenly quiet. “We’ll see, Han. I’m tired. I’m gonna head up to bed. You should too. “I’m running sound for church tomorrow, so we gotta go early.”
“Can I just ride with Sarah.”
“She’s watching the babies so she’s going in with me. Saving some gas.”
“Okay, I’m getting a snack.”
“Goodnight kiddo.” He gave me a hug and a kissed the top of my head. Weird, I know. That’s the way he is.
I grabbed a bowl of Fruit Loops and headed upstairs. When I passed Dad’s room, I heard sniffling. Did I make him sad again?
Sarah’s door was open a crack, so I went in. “Hey Sarah?”
“Hey Han. What’s up?”
“I think I made Dad sad again.”
“Seriously. All this trying to cheer him up is gonna be the end of him.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Sorry. What did you say or do this time?”
I told her about the movie ideas and that he got sad when I suggested Polar Express on Christmas Eve.
“Oh.” Sarah said. “He and Mom watched Polar Express every Christmas Eve since forever. The last time was her second to last night at home. Christmas morning, she tried to act happy for us, but we could tell she was hurting. Dad took her to hospice care the next day. The cancer took her 3 days later.”
“So how did you deal with the sadness.”
“I didn’t at first. I got mad. Real mad. Mad at God. Mad at Dad. Then after about a month, I got seriously sad. I didn’t wanna do anything for a month. I almost had to repeat 6th grade ‘cause I got so far behind in my homework.”
“How’d you get past that?”
“I don’t know. I just moved on.” Just then she smiled a little private smile and turned red.
“Come on, out with it.”
“You remember Derrick from KCC Nights last year. He graduated and he’s off in the army now.”
“Yeah, duh, didn’t you two go out some.”
“Yeah, well, that all started about two months after Mom passed. He started bringing me flowers and chocolates and stuff like that. Of course, Dad found out and that was the end of that.” She made airquotes. “No dating until you’re sixteen. But he still flirted with me at school.”
That kinda broke the sad spell. I mean, I still have my sad moments, but I’ve learned to get through them.”
“Thanks Sarah.” I knew what to do next.
Christmas Cheer Up step 4 – Romance
We didn’t get to watch movies much that next week. Dad had to work late Monday, I had 4H on Tuesday and KCC Nights on Wednesday and he had a meeting on Thursday night at the church.
That’s when I sprung into action. I’d done a little research and went to what I thought would be the perfect dating site for him. I won’t tell you what it was ‘cause I don’t want them finding out that I lied to get into it.
I didn’t think of myself as lying. I just figured I was speaking for my dad. I snuck into his study and got on his computer. As I suspected, he used the same password on that as he used on the streaming services.
I got him signed up for a free trial. Of course, I had to use his email address, but I erased the emails they used to verify his identity.
Then I looked at the profiles.
I’d heard this was a Christian dating service, but a lot of those profiles were anything but.
Swipe left.
Swipe left.
Swipe left.
After many left swipes, I finally found one I thought my dad would like. Rita from Pearisburg. That was close.
She loved God. She was about his age. She loved animals. She was pretty. Well, you know – in a late thirties kinda way. Dad was 42 so this was perfect.
I swiped right and picked the message “Can we talk?” They didn’t let you type for a first message. You had to pick from one of their messages.
Dad came home kinda late that night.
I was still up but I was in my room.
He knocked and opened the door without waiting for a response. “Hannah.”
It was that “you’re in big trouble” voice.
“Hi Dad.” I tried to play it cool.
“You know anything about a certain dating service and a woman named Rita?”
I could feel my face turn beet red. “Sarah said she got over Mom’s death when a cute boy started paying attention to her, so I thought…” The words rushed out of me.
“No, you didn’t think!” His voice remained stern. “You didn’t think about a woman whose feelings you may have hurt. You didn’t think about how wrong it was to break into my computer and to lie to that dating service.”
“But Dad.”
“No buts.” He stopped but I swear I could see smoke coming from his ears. “I’m too angry to discuss this right now but we are going to have a good long discussion in the morning.”
With that, he turned, grabbed the door hard, stopped for a moment, then closed the door gently.
I barely slept that night. When I did, I had nightmares of an angry father attacking me. At dawn I got out of bed.
I found Dad in the kitchen, drinking coffee.
He spoke quietly. “Get dressed, we’re going for a ride.”
“What about school?”
“I already called you in sick. I cancelled my appointments for the day. Told ‘em to call the large animal vet in Blacksburg if they had an emergency.”
“Okay.” I went back to my room and put on some clean sweats. I grabbed my coat on the way out the door. Dad was waiting in his truck in the driveway.
“I did a lot of thinking last night.” His voice was so low I could barely hear him over the truck. “I talked to Sarah too. She told me about your conversation.” He held his hand up. “Don’t blame her, I practically forced it out of her.”
He was silent for several minutes as we approached Kerryville. He made a right turn just before the city limits sign.
“I think you misunderstood what brought her out of her grieving. It wasn’t that boy, Derrick, who didn’t turn out half bad. It was the fact that she allowed herself to grieve.”
He made another right turn, this time into a cemetery. His eyes were wet. “I’ve never brought you back here since the funeral because it felt like giving up on her.”
He stopped the truck. Tears were flowing.
“Sarah let her mom go but I never did. Until last night.” He climbed out of the truck and came around to my side.
I got out and took his hand.
He led me to Mom’s grave. “Hannah, this is where your mom’s remains are buried. She’s not there. She’s in heaven. And I believe.” He choked back more tears. “No, I know that she would tell us to move on and enjoy life to the fullest.”
He put his arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry that I haven’t been there a hundred percent for you. I’ve buried myself in my work rather than being there for you and Sarah. Sarah and I went through this last night. She’s been coming to Mom’s grave to tend it. I’ve been neglecting my responsibility to you, Sarah, and your mom’s memory. Can you forgive me?”
I planted my face into his chest. “Of course, Daddy. I love you.”
We spent another hour there walking and talking.
Eventually, we went to the store. Dad went a little crazy buying Christmas decor and we spent the rest of the day making the house look more festive than ever.
We knew we succeeded when Sarah came home, smiled and said, “It looks like elves threw up all over the house. I like it!”
That was the best Christmas ever. It wasn’t because of the gifts under our oversized, funny looking Christmas tree.
It was because of the best gift ever – my family.
Of course, if you’ve read what my new best friend, Wil wrote about us, I think things are looking pretty good for another Merry Christmas this year.
May your Christmas be full of the blessings of family, and may you find the courage to mend the hurts that keep you from making your family whole again.
If you are interested in becoming a beta reader for the Wil Clarey novels, please see the Wil Clarey page for more information.
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