“Daddy Mine” Revisited

I don’t know why, but my unfinished novel “Daddy Mine” has been on my mind a lot lately.

I decided I should revisit it this week and share a little with you.

It started as bedtime stories when my kids were little.

I wrote quite a bit of it way back then.

I just peeked at the manuscript.

Let’s just say my writing has come a long way since then.

So this evening I decided to rewrite the first few pages to share a little of the story with you.

It’s really not much more than an introduction to the main character.

Please keep in mind this is unedited writing. Much will likely change.

I’ll tell you a little more at the end.

Until then, here’s the beginning to “Daddy Mine.”


            “Sarah’s a loser!” The cadre of pretty girls came right up behind her.

            “Your uncle’s a dirty drunk bar keep.”

            Sarah kept walking home, ignoring the town girls. 

            “Your aunt is a mean old witch.”

            No objections from Sarah.

            “And your dad was a murderer!”

            Something exploded in her head.

            Sarah spun and decked 14-year-old Clara.

            Clara’s two friends jumped in and the dusty lane in Kearneyville, Colorado became a blur of punches, shoves, grabs, ripping dresses and screaming.

            Until Miss Heber, their teacher, rounded the corner.

            The girls scattered.

            Sarah gathered her books and made to run.

            “Sarah Hurdle, stay right there!”

            Sarah froze at the stern voice, torn between the rebel that wanted to run and the respectful 12-year-old girl who both feared and adored her teacher.

            “Care to explain that?”

            Her tongue froze as the words jumbled into a log jam that refused to flow past her lips.

            “You know that I cannot condone fighting, especially among young ladies.” The young teacher gently lifted Sarah’s face with a hand under her chin.

            Sarah struggled to maintain a stoic face even as a tear at the edge of her eye threatened to betray her.

            Miss Heber’s face softened as she pulled Sarah to her into a loose embrace. “You were giving those three girls a run for their money.”

            “You shoulda’ seen Clara’s face.”

            “Sarah!” Miss Heber’s scold was mild but unmistakable. “You’d better get home.”

            The two separated and the teacher looked Sarah over.

            “Your Aunt’s going to throw a fit when she sees that dress.”

            “I can handle her.” Even as she said it, Sarah dreaded Aunt Penny’s reaction.

            “See you tomorrow in class.”

            “Okay.” Sarah turned and ran down the hill to Lowtown, the section of Kearneyville below downtown where most of the saloons and gambling halls were.

            As she ran across the muddy ditch and over the train tracks, a story of slipping in the mud and tearing her dress in the fall took shape. The far side of the tracks, being in the shade still had plenty of snow in wet, hardened drifts.

            At least she could wash her hands in the snow and grab a chunk of the icy stuff to soothe her swollen knuckles.

            The summer of 1892 was just a few weeks away and she looked forward to spending her days in the woods, escaping the judgement she felt pressing around her.

            Despite it being the less respectful part of town, Sarah felt more at home in Lowtown. Music already poured from a couple of the saloons putting a bounce in her step as she passed.

            Uncle Harold and Aunt Penny’s house sat along the creek with a dozen other older run-down homes.

            Her two cousins, Jimmy and Teddy, sat on the front porch, shirtless in the chilly spring air. Each had a stick and a knife, carving what they surely thought were fierce looking spears.

            “No passin’ here ‘til you pay toll.”

            She leaned close to ten-year-old Jimmy. “How ‘bout I just tell your mama about you not showing up for school today.”

            Jimmy stared at her. “Maybe we could forget the toll if you forget about that little thing.”

            “What thing?” She walked past them and made straight for the ladder to the loft.

            “‘Bout time you got here.” Aunt Penny mixed something at the table by the old wood-stove. “Get outta your school dress and… Lord have mercy, what did you do?”

            Sarah forced tears to her eyes as she explained. “The trail is all covered in mud. You know how slick it is around the tracks.” She let Aunt Penny make up the lie in her imagination so she wouldn’t actually have to tell it.

            “Well, you’re sewing it this time. I showed you how. First, get changed and bring in some more wood.”

            “Why can’t Jimmy and Teddy bring in wood?”

            “They’re just kids.”

            “Jimmy’s bigger than me.”

            Aunt Penny glared at her.

            “Fine.” Sarah’s skinned knee stung as she flew up the ladder and ducked behind the old curtain that defined her corner of the loft.

            She plopped face first onto the thin mattress, pulling the frayed old pillow tight to herself for a moment of escape into her own little world.

            She closed her eyes and tried to bring back the distant memories of her mom and dad, imagining being hugged by them as she squeezed the pillow flat.


That’s it for the little peek into the world of Sarah Hurdle.

If you hadn’t figured it out (then my writing is worse than I thought) Sarah is an orphan in the fictional mining town of Kearneyville, Colorado in the 1890’s.

It is a middle-grade (10-14 year old readers) novel full of adventure, drama, and suspense as Sarah tries to figure out what really happened to her parents.

Let me know if you want to read on as I am toying with the idea of completing this novel.

As always, thanks for visiting!

The Shortcomings of Short Stories

 

I had a blast writing my latest Christmas story, The Star of Mystery.

But it was frustrating too!

I introduced several new characters without enough words to develop them. It was also the first time most people will read a compete story about Wil Clarey.

Let’s be honest,

5-6 thousand words is not enough to do justice to the subject of autism and still tell the story. You’ll just have to read the Wil Clarey series when it gets published.

On the positive side, I was able to write a complete story and edit it (with the help of a couple of beta readers) in the space of just three weeks. It was fast and furious fun!

The purpose of my Christmas short stories is not just to share the stories but to expand my platform.

To be frank, in order to get the Wil Clarey books published, I need a larger number of followers. I say this to encourage you to follow my Facebook and Instagram pages as well as this blog.

Feel free to share the link to my stories with anyone you think might be interested.

Keep an eye on this page as I will attempt to resume my weekly blogs now that my short story writing push is over.

In case you’re interested in my longer stories, here’s the latest.

  • Wil Clarey – The impossible Summer is complete and ready for professional editors.
  • Wil Clarey – School of Hard Knocks is 80% through content edit.
  • Wil Clarey – The Mystery at the Mill is complete in rough draft form.
  • Reymons – I will restart the rewrite in a couple of weeks when I am done with the School of Hard Knocks edit. Much of the middle of the book series was written when I realized that I needed to do a lot more background and character development. My current plan to make it a three book arc. Book one will be background and development to the lead characters up to the escape from Reymons (a massive city under what is now Humphrey’s Peak in Arizona). Book two will cover the adventure of our lead characters traveling to a haven at the coast through many surprise interactions with above ground cultures. Book three will be the return to and rescue of Reymons.

If my writing piques your interest, contact me to be a beta reader.

Until then, enjoy the short stories and blogs.

The Perfect Edit?

Caution – red pen at work. (Also Spoiler Alert – don’t read manuscript if you don’t want spoilers).

 

As of a week and a half ago, I have written three books in the Wil Clarey Series. Books two and three are in rough draft form –

very rough.

Book One – The Impossible Summer is in much better shape. It is as thoroughly self-edited as possible. It is completely ready for professional editors.

So I thought.

In preparation for editing book two, School of Hard Knocks, I read through Book one with an eye toward maintaining continuity through the series. I even made a spreadsheet to list all the named characters and details about them (There are 34 named characters in The Impossible Summer at last count).

Of course, I read my paper manuscript with red pen in hand.

The red pen has a mind of its own. It found several poorly worded sentences, a few unneeded lines, and a handful of typos.

So much for “ready for professional edit.”

If you are a casual reader, you might not realize how many times most books are edited before publishing. I used to think that someone would proofread a manuscript and then it would be printed. That’s just the final step.

Here’s a few of the possible edits a manuscript will go through:

  • Developmental edit – This one can be painful. This type of edit may lead to major restructuring of the story.
  • Structural Edit – May be included with developmental edit. Looks at the flow of the presentation to make sure the reader can follow along.
  • Continuity edit (or fact checking) – I just did a bit of that with Book one. For instance, I realized that July 4th needed to fall on a Tuesday to stay consistent with the calendar I chose for books two and three. It can also include checking for consistency in character names and ages, layout of settings, etc.
  • Copy edit – checks for errors in grammar and spelling.
  • Proofread – checks for typos.

Some edits may be combined or split to suit the publisher and the book. I’ve seen about as many interpretations of editing as I’ve seen articles on the process.

The bottom line is, a good book is the work of the author and several others.

Just like a lawyer representing himself has a fool for a client, the author who self-edits beyond the first couple of edits has a fool for an editor.

As I don’t have the cash to lay out for a series of professional edits, I am praying for a traditional publisher. In the meantime, realize that any excerpts you may see here or at WilClarey.com may not be as they get published.

I promise you that I will not publish whole books without completing the editing process. I’m not that cruel.

Okay, maybe I’m a little cruel.

These blogs and my Christmas stories are self edited.

I hope you enjoy them anyway!

The Wide View

This photo gives me a wide perspective of the town and the landscape below. Looks like a great place for me to base a story. Maybe someday, but it’s been done before. If you don’t know where it is, read to the end.

More exciting news first.

I may have just written the ending of Wil Clarey: Mystery at the Mill!

It came suddenly. The story is full of action and suspense. I let the story tell itself and my characters went a bit crazy. They reached the climax of the action before I expected.

Problem is, the book is not done.

I’m not just talking about the rewrites and edits. I let the story move along so quickly that I left out whole sections that I need to insert before I can call the first draft done.

So, right now, I am stepping back and taking a look at the big picture. I am reviewing the story to see where I can bring in the parts that will make it complete.

It’s not easy but with the wide view, I can get the perspective to see how the story plays out.

I try to do that with my life about once a year too. I take a day and step back from my life to get a perspective on where it is going. It’s been a busy year and I haven’t done that yet but I have plans.

Then there’s the really big perspective.

They don’t call it a “God’s eye view” for nothing.

I believe God has the full perspective and can see everything. That’s a big part of my perspective day, to seek out what God’s perspective on my life is.

That brings me to the God’s eye view of that town. The popular story based in the town was called Goonies. If you haven’t guessed, the town is Astoria, Oregon. The photo was taken from the top of the Astoria Column. I happen to be writing this blog from a vacation condo not too far from there.

I’m not here to get perspective this time. Just looking forward to another day of fun.

Here’s to hoping you find some fun and perspective in your life.

 

Location, Location, Location

I made a wrong turn in Vegas.

I found myself on a short street under the freeway where a couple of dozen homeless people clung to the shadows. They looked sweaty and miserable.

I eventually made it to the Chick-Fil-A drive thru and enjoyed my sandwich in my air-conditioned van in the parking lot. Then I had to walk the twenty feet to the trash can.

A hot spot for dinner

113°F is brutal.

I grew a new respect for those homeless people under the freeway.

Then I knew I blew it.

Not right then and there but with several scenes in my novel Reymons. The main characters have to fly open cockpit ultralight aircraft through one of the hottest areas on the planet. I will have to rewrite the scenes to reflect the brutal desert heat that they have to endure.

I try to set my scenes in familiar areas. Sometimes that isn’t possible. In those cases, I am seeing that it is important to visit the scenes to get an idea of what would be affecting the characters.

In the desert of Nevada and Southern California, the heat would be of primary importance to the characters. In some places, the geological features may take precedence. In others, traffic or crowds.

To build depth and realism in characters, you have to know what they are sensing and bring that to the page.

This weekend, I will be in one of the towns that inspired the fictional town of Kerryville, VA. I will keep my senses alert for what my characters should experience.

And just so you know, I don’t plan on exploring the fictional depths of Humphrey’s Peak, known in the distant future as Reymons.

For some things you just have to use your imagination.

Character Interview for The Space Beyond

One of the tools I often use when writing is the Character Interview. I pretend that I am sitting down with my character(s) and ask them questions that will help me determine how they will speak and react within the story line. I did that with Ashley and Carl from The Space Beyond. It was fun so I decided to share it with you.

Spoiler alert! The interview does contain spoilers so please click on Christmas Stories in the menu and read the story before you read this. It’s less than 5,000 words so it won’t take you long.

Also keep in mind that this interview is raw writing. Only the worst mistakes have been corrected.

One final thing before you read this and after you read the story:

In hind sight, I realize that I have painted foster parents in a rather poor light in the story. Please know that I hold foster parents in the highest regard. I have been one myself and I can tell you that it can be the toughest job in the world. The vast majority of foster parents pour their hearts and souls into the kids in their care. Carl’s point of view on his foster parents is rather negative. That is not my view on foster parents.

That’s out of the way so let me introduce you to Ashley Jones and Carl Mason…

Interview with Ashley Jones and Carl Mason.

Main Characters of “The Space Beyond – A Christmas Story”

Me – We’re on the front porch of the Jones family home in Pratt, Tennessee to talk with Ashley Jones and Carl Mason after their amazing adventure.

Hi Carl and Ashley. Glad you could join me.  Can we start off with a little introduction? Just tell us a little bit about yourselves.

Carl – Hey, it’s great to be here. My name is Carl. Duh! I’m twelve and I live two houses down the road from Ashley. You can just see it over yonder, the white house with the red tin roof. I’ve known Ash since kindergarten. She’s like the sister I never had.

Ashley – You have two sisters!

Carl – They ain’t really my sisters, and they sure ain’t like you!

Ashley rolled her eyes.

Carl – Anyway, I was sayin’ before I was so rudely interrupted, We both go to Rolling Hills Middle School. It used to be Pratt Junior High. When they changed it to a middle school, everyone was joking about it being PMS so they changed the name to Rolling Hills.

Me (interrupting to stop this runaway train) – And what are you known for there?

Carl – Everything. I’m the fastest runner, the best pitcher, and the smartest thinker.

Ashley – Well, two out of three isn’t bad.

Carl – Whatcha sayin’ I aint good at? Oh yeah, I’m also the most modest!

Me – Okay, so you’re kinda the jock of RHMS?

Carl – Sure as shootin’! Oh, and I’m good at that too.

Me – At what?

Carl – Shootin’. Huntin’ too.

Ashley – He tends to overcompensate for his lack of self-confidence.

Carl – What you talking about!?

Ashley just stared at him.

Carl – Okay, I’m not really the best at most things, but I do have a good pitching arm.

Ashley – That much is true.

Me – What about you, Ashley?

Ashley – I’m Ashley Jones. I’ll be twelve next month. My parents are electrical engineers, or at least that’s what they told me before what happened last month. They moved here a few years before I was born. I’m their only child.

Me – What are you known for around here?

Ashley – I don’t know. Maybe for being different. I don’t get all gaga over boys and fashion and that stuff like some of the girls do.

Me – What kind of things do you like to do?

Carl – I forgot to say, Pa’s a foreman at the window factory. Ma stays at home ‘cause she takes care of us kids. I’m the oldest.

Ashley – Sorry, that’s the way he is. Always interrupting! Anyway, I love to read and hike and, when the wind allows, fly my kites. I can also whip his butt in most video games.

Carl – In your dreams.

Ashley – Trust me, you’re not in my dreams!

Ashley looked slightly to the side and blushed a little, clearly indicating her lie.

Me (speaking to Carl) – And I take it you like to play baseball?

Carl – And basketball and track and field. I’d like to play football, but coach says I’m too skinny.

Me – And you two are best friends?

Ashley and Carl replied at the same time.

Ashley – I tolerate him.

Doug – She tolerates me.

Me – you guys seem to have a connection. Is there anything romantic going on there?

Ashley – Heck no!

Carl – (Wrinkles his nose) With that? (Points at her).

Ashley – He’s not mature enough for anything romantic. And I have more refined taste.

Carl – I’ll have you know, half the girls in my class are pining for me.

Ashley – In your dreams!

Carl – I do have some amazing dreams.

Me – Okay, so nothing romantic, so why do you guys hang out so much together?

Carl – ‘Cause she has the better gaming console.

Ashley – And, despite his ignorance, Carl really is my best friend. I guess we’ve just known each other so long and being the only kid my age for two miles probably helped some too.

Carl – I reckon that’s true too.

Me – Do you guys like living in the country?

Ashley – Yeah! I love the peace and quiet and the sound of nature.

Carl – And the fields to practice my throwing and running.

Me – Okay, let’s move on to some hypotheticals. Let’s say you are attacked by some bad people – do you fight or run.

Carl – Fight, of course. Especially if I’m protecting someone (eyes shift to Ashley). I mean, you gotta do the right thing.

Ashley – Sometimes the right thing is to stop and evaluate the situation before jumping into an unwinnable fight (glances at Carl). But, that said, my mom taught me a lot of martial arts skills so nine times out of ten, I’m gonna fight.

Carl – She’s right about that, she’s bad ass! (Suddenly puts his hand over his mouth). Am I allowed to say that?

Me – It’s fine. You guys saw some pretty crazy things last month. Which of you is more likely to believe what doesn’t make sense?

Both – Me.

Ashley – My mom kinda prepared me with stories that I thought were from her imagination. Now I’m not so sure. Then again, Carl will believe anything so maybe he’s the more gullible.

Carl – Dang straight! That’s a good thing, right?

Me – Which of you is better at obeying your parents?

Carl – Me, you don’t cross Pa! Don’t get me wrong. He’s a good dad. But his word is law!

Ashley – My parents aren’t that strict but if they lay down the law, you know it’s for a good reason.

Me – Have your parents ever caught you in a lie?

Carl – One time, when I stole a candy bar from the Cracker Barrel. I tried to deny it but the chocolate on my shirt gave it away. I was only 7. Pa made me pay back four times what it cost.

Ashley – And gave you a whooping!

Carl – That’s a spanking. Folks around here still do that, you know. Still, you better not tell anyone. Might mess up their gig.

Me – What gig is that?

Carl – As foster parents. They need that money from the county. That’s Ma’s job.

Me – So I gather that you’re a foster child.

Carl – Me and my two sisters. Like I said, they ain’t my real sisters but they been with Ma and Pa since before I came. Little Joe is Ma and Pa’s child.

Me – What about you Ashley.

Ashley – I share everything with Mom. She’s cool. Dad can be a dork so I’m not so open with him. Still, the extent of my lying is saying I’m okay when I’m not.

Me – How well do you deal with pain?

Ashley – Physical or emotional?

Me – both.

Ashley – I can usually deal with physical pain. Mom gave me techniques to ease the suffering when I get hurt. For emotional pain – I think I’m better than average but it’s a lot tougher than physical pain.

Carl – I think I’m the opposite. It doesn’t bother me when people try to mess with my head, and I can deal with physical pain to a point and then it kinda stops me in my tracks.

Me – Do you cry easily?

Both – No.

Me – Do you have any scars from last month?

Carl – (Pulls up sleeve) You should see…

Ashley – (Stops Carl) Time will tell.

Me – What can you tell me about your adventures last month?

Ashley – Nothing, we’re sworn to secrecy until it’s published.

Carl – What she said – other than it was epic!

Me – Okay, can’t wait to read it on Christmas Eve!

Am I Crazy?

Am I crazy for participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) during the same month as the Blue Ridge Christian Writer’s Conference?

Yeah, probably!

But then my favorite Bible verse is 2 Corinthians 5:13 – “If we are out of our minds, it is for the sake of God.” (Loose quote from the NIV)

Problem is, I love writing – especially when it’s like today. I gave myself an hour to write a scene. It was an epic action scene where my band of travelers had no choice but to engage in battle with the guards who were pursuing them.

I won’t tell you how successful they were (but I’m only a third of the way through so – duh). I will tell you that the chapter ended with a plot twist that I didn’t see coming.

I love it when that happens!

Now I need to get back to my conference prep, working on one sheets and business cards.

As for NaNoWriMo, I most likely won’t reach that magic number of 50,000 words, but I will be motivated to write more. I’ll also be inspired by the stories of others and share a bit about my latest novel Reymons.

Should you participate in NaNoWriMo?

Do you love writing?

Do you have an idea for a novel that is just dying to get on paper?

Then, yes! Absolutely participate!

Don’t worry if you don’t make the 50,000 word goal. Just get going!

When you do, look me up under the user name Reymons.